dindorp.co logo

Directory :: Home & Family Associates - 1

Headlines

Bridgwater & Taunton Canal - it's roots full story...

Bridgwater & Taunton Canal - it's route full story...

Headline full story...

Headline full story...

Headline full story...


5 Steps to Raising an Optimistic Child


by: Dr. Tony Fiore

I had just completed a session with 17-year old Julie who suffered from severe depression. Julie believed she was a total failure and would never be able to change anything in her life. Julie also felt all her shortcomings were her own fault.

Where, I ask myself, did such a young person acquire this negative and fatalistic thinking?

The answer soon became apparent when I invited her parents into the session. They began discussing numerous life events and explaining them in ways that their children were learning. The car, for example, got dented because you can’t trust anybody these days; Mom yelled at brother because she was in a bad mood; you can’t get ahead in this world unless you know somebody, etc.

As a parent, your own thinking style is always on display and your children are listening intently!

The Importance of Optimism

Why should you want your child to be an optimist? Because, as Dr. Martin Seligman explains: “Pessimism (the opposite of optimism) is an entrenched habit of mind that has sweeping and disastrous consequences: depressed mood, resignation, underachievement and even unexpectedly poor physical health.”

Children with optimistic thinking skills are better able to interpret failure, have a stronger sense of personal mastery and are better able to bounce back when things go wrong in their lives.

Because parents are a major contributor to the thinking styles of their children’s developing minds, it is important to adhere to the following five steps to ensure healthy mental habits in your children.

How Parents Can Help

Step 1: Learn to think optimistically yourself. What children see and hear indirectly from you as you lead your life and interact with others influences them much more than what you try to ‘teach’ them.

You can model optimism for your child by incorporating optimistic mental skills into your own way of thinking. This is not easy and does not occur over night. But with practice, almost everyone can learn to think differently about life’s events – even parents!

Step 2: Teach your child that there is a connection between how they think and how they feel. You can do this most easily by saying aloud how your own thoughts about adversity create negative feelings in you.

For example, if you are driving your child to school and a driver cuts you off, verbalize the link between your thoughts and feelings by saying something like “I wonder why I’m feeling so angry; I guess I was saying to myself: ‘Now I’m going to be late because the guy in front of me is going so darn slow. If he is going to drive like that he shouldn’t drive during rush hour. How rude.’”

Step 3: Create a game called ‘thought catching.’ This helps your child learn to identify the thoughts that flit across his or her mind at the times they feel worst. These thoughts, although barely noticeable, greatly affect mood and behavior.

For instance, if your child received a poor grade, ask: “When you got your grade, what did you say to yourself?”

Step 4: Teach your child how to evaluate automatic thoughts. This means acknowledging that they things you say to yourself are not necessarily accurate.

For instance, after receiving the poor grade your child may be telling himself he is a failure, he is not as smart as other kids; he will never be able to succeed in school, etc. Many of these self-statements may not be accurate, but they are ‘automatic’ in that situation.

Step 5: Instruct your child on how to generate more accurate explanations (to themselves) when bad things happen and use them to challenge your child’s automatic but inaccurate thoughts. Part of this process involves looking for evidence to the contrary (good grades in the past, success in other life areas, etc).

Another skill to teach your child to help him or her think optimistically is to ‘decatastrophize’ the situation – that is – help your child see that the bad event may not be as bad or will not have the adverse consequences imagined. Few things in life are as devastating as we fear, yet we blow them up in our minds.

Parents can influence the thinking styles of their children by modeling the principals of optimistic thinking.


About The Author

Dr. Tony Fiore is a So. California licensed psychologist, and anger management trainer.
His company, The Anger Coach, provides anger and stress management programs, training and products to individuals, couples, and the workplace. Sign up for his free monthly newsletter "Taming The Anger Bee" at www.angercoach.com and receive two bonus reports.


:: Home & Family Links ::
2005 Christmas Toys
Help needy children get the gift they've always wanted, but couldn't afford getting.
Baby Furniture Store
The largest baby furniture selection online, we carry all kinds of baby furniture and also kids furniture like cribs beds dressers accessories teak and wood furniture.
Celebrationz: London's Most Exciting Event Organiser
Celebrationz is an exceptional event company specialising in childrens parties and special occasions in london and the south-east

Cellular Blinds
Many families use cellular blinds to shield the sun during summer, but did you know cellular blinds can help conserve energy during the holidays? Studies suggest that installing cellular blinds can reduce heat loss a ton. Give cellular blinds a try.

Doberman Pinschers Info For Doberman Puppies And Doberman Pinchers
Get your free 5 part doberman newsletter today
Eurogreens Kunstpflanzenversand
Eurogreens liefert qualitativ hochwertige kunstpflanzen und bäume für büro, verkaufsräume oder ihr zuhause.
Mit preisgarantie.
Sehr günstig durch eigene fabrikation, 48h lieferung, express ohne aufpreis
Jerlynn's Seiko Watches
We are an authorized seiko watch dealer offering free worldwide shipping.
Watches are discounted up to 45% off retail price.
New styles added all the time.
Kidz Craft - Childens Craft Party Ideas
Kids craft kits for children?s craft parties and craft activities. A creative and fun birthday party idea. Kids love to create things. Kidz craft have an excellent choice of craft party kits.
Life Insurance
Life insurance for all types of life insurance quotes
Secrets Beagle Puppies And Beagle Dogs - Beagles - Beagle Rescue
Get your free 5 part beagle newsletter
 
 
 
 
 
 
bath4u.com Hotel Europe | bath4u.com Hotels Europe2 | bath4u.com Hotel
bath4u.com Holidays | bath4u.com Hotel Asia | bath4u.com Holidays Europe
somerset4u Lodgings | somerset4u Lodging Europe | somerset4u Lodgings Europe2
somerset4u Holidays | somerset4u Holidays Europe | Accommodation: Denmark
Danish Hotels | Danish Cuisine | Swedish Cuisine | African Cuisine | Bali Resorts
Link to us with a 'text only' link:  
Just Copy all of the text below, and Paste in to your page where you want your link to us to appear, - job done!

- and this is the result:
Welcome to dindorp.co.uk and sunny somerset
dindorp.co.uk home page with restaurants, hotels, recipes, cinemas, theatres, film extra and local model agency for north east somerset, uk and more
   

 

 

Google
w.w.w. www.dindorp.co.uk
Page Rank Checker | About Us | Site Map | Privacy Policy | Contact Us | ©2005 dindorp.co.uk